3 reasons why loving yourself makes for building a happier career

February always makes me smile - it’s a month with dramatic contrasts that’s for sure! It can be the gloomiest time of year with days that are still relatively short, cold, and grey and spring feels like it’s just out of touching distance.

But February is also the month of love. Whether or not you celebrate Valentine’s Day, it can be timely to remember the power of expressing love and compassion not only to others but to ourselves.

It’s amazing that self-compassion isn’t mentioned more when it comes to building a fulfilling career. You’ve got your CV sorted, you are networking like a pro and you seek out every development opportunity you can but somehow something is missing. But have you considered how self-love (or the lack of it) could be holding you back? Negative self-judgment can undermine job performance and increase stress whereas self-compassion - where you show kindness to yourself in the face of challenges and professional setbacks - is a powerful career-building tool.

Let me share with you the reasons why loving yourself is so important when it comes to your career.

Reason One - You’ll be motivated to show up as your true self

Feeling truly happy and fulfilled as you build your career depends on your ability to explore who you are, know what motivates you, develop your skills, try things out, and explore what works for you. When our main source of love lives outside of ourselves, we are driven by what we think we should be doing to maintain that love. In short, everything becomes about acceptance and this can extend to your career choices - have you wondered why you sometimes make decisions that seem to be aimed at pleasing others more than you?

When self-love is lacking in your career, you hold yourself back. You might notice negative self-talk like “I’ll never be able to do that”, “I’m not good enough” or “other people won’t like me if I do”. Thoughts like this are powerful if you assume they matter. Question them instead. Don’t let them stop you from exploring who you are and what makes you feel valued.

Giving yourself the gift of unconditional love and acceptance means you will become less concerned about what others think. In turn decisions about your work and career will be more aligned with what you genuinely want and what is important to you. This is the start of building a career that feels not only fulfilling but sustainable over time.

Reason Two - You’ll be more open to taking risks when it really matters

Self-love helps you know and feel you are okay, worthy, and good enough no matter what happens. In turn, taking a risk at work or in your career feels a lot less scary as much of the fear comes from what we tell ourselves it means about us - all the things that your inner critic would say - if the outcome isn’t what we had hoped. It's so often not the problem that causes the difficulties but rather our thinking about the problem itself.

Try to separate your personal worth from the potential outcomes. That way it feels like there is less riding on what happens when you do take a risk - failure is no longer an ‘all or nothing’ game. This is tremendously freeing not to mention empowering for your career as it will shift how you approach decisions and the choices you make. You will find more ease in opening a lot of doors you have previously been too afraid to - be it starting that new business, making that career change, or taking on that project you’ve been afraid to tackle.

Above all else, it’s about a growth mindset. Consider how children take risks every day in order to learn and grow. Would you speak to a child the way you speak to yourself when you are trying your best with the resources that you have to navigate a new challenge? Of course, you wouldn’t! Stop and give yourself the same nurturing, patient, and loving presence to see what becomes possible.

Reason Three - You’ll be less likely to experience burnout at work

You should be in career planning for the long game and it’s important to consider how we will sustain our health, happiness, and enjoyment irrespective of the job we are doing. It can be all too easy to get caught up in work demands and performance targets and forget that this is the quickest way to possible burnout and illness. While it may be required occasionally, we can often find ourselves consistently putting work ahead of our own needs and making choices that aren’t loving and supportive of our well-being. If you’re not mindful of the importance of valuing your needs you’ll have a higher chance of career burnout and/or illness.

Self-love will help you speak up for your needs or take the leap to leave that job and find one where you can thrive - even if your inner critic keeps reminding you of the scary things that might happen or how you should “stick it out.”

And here’s the thing - despite your best efforts, your mind is likely to continue to be full of all that unhelpful and harsh commentary. Your inner critic has had years and years of practice and may continue to be strong. But what we can do is be more aware of when this voice is doing the talking, what it’s telling us, and at the same time be aware of what the more loving and kind perspective sounds like. As with anything else, it’s about creating a new habit over time to tell that critic to quieten down and do less of the talking when it comes to our careers.

Ready to take the next step in building a career that works for you? Take a look at our free career-building resources here