Why we need to stop telling women they are struggling with imposter syndrome

I want to offer an alternative perspective on Imposter Syndrome. For years we’ve been fed the story that imposter syndrome is most commonly experienced by women and high-achieving women at that. It’s becoming more common for women to feel that their professional worries and concerns are the result of imposter syndrome and that in order to overcome it they need to work on their skills or confidence. But what if what we’re experiencing isn’t imposter syndrome? What if it’s just self-doubt? And what if instead of just accepting that some women feel shit at work or lack confidence we recognise that the systems our society has created hold women back and keep us down? And instead of perpetuating these cycles we actively work towards breaking them down?

Some of us strive for perfection. We might have pressure in a job to constantly perform at the top of our game, when this turns into feelings of inadequacy, that we’re unable to live up to expectations or a belief that we’re a fraud… the default is to think it could be imposter syndrome.

Is Imposter Syndrome a female epidemic?

When the concept was first documented in the 1970s it was only focused on women which is where the myth that it was only women who suffered stemmed from. Psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes developed the concept, originally termed “imposter phenomenon,” in their 1978 founding study, which focused on high-achieving women. Lots of women I work with use the term imposter syndrome to describe themselves – used as shorthand to describe the feelings of inadequacy, the need to over-prepare so you’re not caught out or the focus on why you can’t, rather than why you can.

These experiences don’t just affect women; plenty of people across all genders are increasingly describing how they feel constantly as if they are ‘on the outside’, about to be ‘found out’.

Using the ‘imposter syndrome’ label may unintentionally make things worse. The language of a ‘syndrome’ from which you ‘suffer’ sends out a message that it’s a problem with the person experiencing it. Senior women I coach often talk about wanting to ‘fix’ their imposter syndrome, as something that holds them back. But placing the blame with women risks over-simplifying and covering what's actually happening. It’s not women that need to be “cured”.

You don’t feel good enough? Do you feel insecure about your abilities? You’re quick to downplay your achievements and over-emphasise your perceived weaknesses. There must be something wrong with you. You have imposter syndrome.

OR

You feel insecure about your capabilities and are quick to downplay your achievements? Maybe that's because you’re a woman and society is constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough. That you need to be more ambitious but not too ambitious. That you don’t deserve to be paid as much as your male counterparts. That supporting other women will earn you a “difficult woman” or “feminist” label and the ire of the people who have power over your career progression.

The system is not set up to make you feel comfortable and empowered. It’s designed to make you feel “less than”. In essence, it feels like a get-out clause to keep saying to women ‘it’s imposter syndrome”. I have a number of clients who say this straight off the bat when we start working together. And you can see how that alone is holding them back from playing bigger. The default is “I’ve got imposter syndrome” rather than looking at what’s actually going on and why.

In Reshma Suajani’s Ted Talk, she explains “Most girls are told to avoid risk or failure - boys are taught to play rough and swing high, and by the time they are adults and whether they are negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date they are habituated to take risk, after risk, they’re rewarded for it……” Another reason that a high proportion of women say that they struggle with “imposter syndrome" Suajani says is that “We're raising our girls to be perfect, and we're raising our boys to be brave”.

Changing the narrative

What if so-called “Imposter Syndrome” is in fact a natural response to the environment that women have operated in all their lives? In her fascinating book, ‘The Authority Gap’, Mary Ann Sieghart shares some startling data about the environment which shapes the behaviour and confidence of girls and women. For example, parents asked to estimate their child’s IQ will, on average, put their son’s at 115, their daughter’s at 107. The language of imposter syndrome is that it can undervalue the importance of some self-doubt and questioning. Rather than encouraging women to ignore or manage their questioning, we should focus on helping them to productively channel it, to harness it as a strength that enables them to consistently improve. As women, we need to be willing to throw higher, throw further, and take more risks. Instead of trying to be perfect, we could be brave.

Self-doubt is completely normal so why does that somehow convert into I’ve got imposter syndrome? Why do we attach a label that suggests we have a medical condition? It’s not a “syndrome”

Breaking the cycle

More honest conversions and sharing of experiences from those who’ve been through it are needed. Collectively we need to ask, how many organisations are part of the problem rather than the solution? When no one speaks honestly about their own experience of feeling like an imposter the cycle never gets broken.